Wednesday, 1 August 2012

World's Wittiest Best Quotes...

It is amazing how some people can say so much in a few words...

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavours and furniture polish is made from real lemons          ALFRED E. NEWMAN

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gang               JOHN VARLE
We have two ears and one mouth, so that we can listen twice as much as we  speak                 EPICTETUS (c 55-135 AD)
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised                        FRED ALLEN
"We live longer,  but we think shorter.”       MARY CATHERINE BATESON
If you wanted to make an apple pie from scratch, you first had to create the universe              CARL SAGAN
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain, you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office                       GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
Interesting people are nonconformists, swimming tirelessly against the flow of the cultural norm. Only dead fish go with the current.          ROY WILLIAMS
One camel does not make fun of another camel's hump.                   GHANAIAN PROVERB
If things are clear then they will have sharp edges  ANONYMOUS 
My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: Those who do the work and those who take the credit.  He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there.          INDIRA GANDHI
A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.                 GEORGE CARLIN
If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on any lawn.        ANDREW MASON
How is it that we remember the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not remember how often we have recounted it to the same person.                         DUC DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD
Why inflict pain on oneself, when so many others are ready to save us the trouble?                GEORGE PACAUD (1879-1937)
Ever notice that 'what the hell' is always the right decision?                 MARILYN MONROE (1926-62)
Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of intelligent effort.          JOHN RUSKIN (1819-1900)
The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident.  
 CHARLES LAMB (1775-1834)
The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one that will last forever.                               ANATOLE FRANCE (1844-1924)
Often when I pray, I wonder if I am not posting letters to a non-existent address.          CS LEWIS (1898-1963)
Like airplanes, we all leave behind a vapour trail. And though we can easily see others’, we rarely see our own.     RP SIEGEL
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito.             AFRICAN PROVERB
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.  Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.   MARCUS AURELIUS (121-180 AD)
The best way to predict the future is to invent it         ALAN KAY
One who is proud of ancestry is like a turnip; there is nothing good of him but that which is underground.   
AMUEL BUTLER (1835-1902)
If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.      GEORGE BERNARD SHAW (1856-1950)
"Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important." "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."                 STEVE JOBS (1955-2011)
We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know.        WH AUDEN (1907-73)
Ideas are more powerful than guns. We would not let our enemies have guns, why should we let them have ideas?                   JOSEPH STALIN (1879-1953)
Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is.            H JACKSON BROWNE
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. GARRISON KEILLOR
“Forget Jesus, the stars died so you could be born.” LAWRENCE KRAUSS
“There are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.” — NIGEL MARSH

All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident                             ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER

  • Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.
  • Never have children, only grandchildren.
  • A good deed never goes unpunished.
  • It's not enough to succeed. Others must fail                                                                                GORE VIDAL(1926 -2012)






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